asmilinggoddess:

i think it’s funny how christianity made a big deal about mary being impregnanted by god and everyone was like “oh my god the son of god! we must worship him listen to his great wisdom.” 

meanwhile, if you said god knocked you up on ancient greece they’d just be like “yeah, me too.”

itsb0sstime:

georgia-dream:

if your boyfriend is your best friend, you’re doing it right.

if your boyfriend is your only friend, you’re doing it wrong.

THANK. YOU.

That one friend with the fucked-up sense of humor:

paralol:

gameandwatch:

i remember way too many small details about people so i have to act dumb sometimes so i don’t freak them out

*friends eyes are watering for no reason*

"Are you wearing that mascara you’re allergic to but wear any way cause you think it’s cute"

"…..when did I tell you that"

"…….like…..two years ago" 

i am the most stressed out laziest person ever i don’t even know how i do it

twenyonepilots:

do you ever get sad attacks and it drains you and you’re just left sitting there like wow this is so uncalled for rude